From the moment you were born, your body undergoes changes. So too do your feelings and perspective towards life. These changes are especially obvious during the adolescent period. These changes occur both physically and emotionally until you reach adulthood. This period is especially challenging and exciting. These new experiences and challenges can be very enjoyable if you are able to cope with them successfully.

Puberty occurs between the ages of 10 to 18 years, when both boys and girls experience many physical as well as emotional changes. These changes are the result of production of hormones within their bodies. For those who experience these changes, this could be a period of anxiety and uncertainty.

During the process of self-identification, adolescents are exposed to the processes of experimenting, mimicking and placing themselves in risky situations where there could be no turning back.

How do I know if I am truly in love or infatuated?

One way to know is to determine how long this feeling has persisted. Infatuation is short-term whereas love is more lasting and increases with time. Another difference is how the feeling originated. Infatuation is attraction towards glamour as well as towards the physical aspects. Love, on the other hand, is more than just a physical attraction. Love accepts the other person with sincerity. Love will settle disputes and overcome misunderstandings. Infatuation is irresponsible and because of that will not survive a period of stress.

If I feel attracted to a person of the same sex, does this mean that I am a homosexual?

No. Harbouring feelings of liking or of admiration towards someone of the same sex is not an indication that one is homosexual. This is a normal phase of a teenager. It is possible that you are only looking for a role model of a person who possesses qualities that you admire and which you probably wish to acquire. It is normal for a person to find a role model in someone of the same sex. With the passage of time, this feeling will disappear, usually when you yourself have acquired these qualities, or when they no longer appear to be as desirable as before.

I find difficulty getting along with others. How do I make more friends?

Friendship develops when interests or feelings are shared. A good way to acquire a friend is to have a hobby or to join a group of the same age. Apply to become a member or a volunteer in a group activity and then wait to be called. If you are really interested in other people, in what they do, in their likes and needs, and make an effort to tell them that you are interested, then they will respond to you. But if you only think of yourself and talk only about yourself, then it is unlikely that other people will be interested in you.

My mother eavesdrops whenever I talk to a friend. Why am I not allowed privacy?

Teenagers are always inclined to keep things from their parents. Nevertheless, you must understand that it is important that your parents know what is happening in your life. They worry about you and would not wish to see you get hurt. Reassure them by telling them about your friends and about the activities that you may pursue. You should act responsibly. And only then will they start trusting you and allow you your needed space.

My friend likes to hang out in discos/pubs. I don't like doing this and often face problems with my parents because of this. What should I do?

It is not easy to say ‘No' to a person whom one likes or whose opinions one respects. But it is important that you stand up for your own beliefs. Discuss with your friend why you don't like going to the discos/pubs. A true friend will not force you to do something that you don't want to do yourself. Remember that it could be a group decision to go to a certain place, but you alone will bear the consequences.